Diagnosis Scoliosis

The hours go by slowly, the days even slower, but it seems like just yesterday I went into surgery.  This make no sense.  My life is so monotonous right now and pretty much just revolves around standing/walking time and laying down time.  I feel so unproductive.  There is so much I can't be a part of just yet, and I feel like that hospital bed staring back at me to my right is my prison chamber.  One I have to succumb to or the pain and exhaustion set in.  I wish I knew when the pain will end.  If someone were to tell me, its going to hurt like this for the next 23 days and then you'll be much much better,then I can prepare for that.  I can plan my days according to this pain, and know that there will be an end.  On day 24 I'll be at the park playing with my kids, skipping steps going up the stairs, and sleeping on my side again.  Truth is I don't know, and that's what sucks.  I don't have a crystal ball that will tell me when it will all be better.  I spend 75% of my time so proud of how far I've come in the last two weeks, and so hopeful about my recovery.  Then there's the other 25% that sneaks up every now and then and makes time slow down, and brings on that sense of loneliness as the world and people in it that you love continue at the same speed you were at just so little ago.  I was never one to stop and smell the roses before.  I lived a very fast paced, active lifestyle and never used my back as an excuse for anything.  Maybe this will teach me some life lessons I wasn't yet ready to learn.  About being in the moment, enjoying the little things I so casually overlooked, and staring at a blank calendar without feeling the need to fill it.  After all this is just a tiny fragment of my life.  I'll get back to me.

(Jumping back onto my 75%)

I am supposed to wear a back brace for the next 6-8 weeks to help with stabilization, but I am having all sorts of problems with it.  It causes me so much pain from wearing it, and I go from being able to be up and around for a couple of hours at a time to maybe 30 minutes max.  I finally emailed my doctor about it, and he told me to just take it off, it isn't that important to go have it re-fitted.  So happy about this.  That thing is like a torture device for the newly operated on.  It seems a little big everywhere, and quite heavy on my very sore back.  I also have this innovative device called an Orthofix Bone Growth Stimulator.  Here is a little excerpt from their website:

The Spinal-Stim spinal fusion system is a safe, nonsurgical treatment your doctor has prescribed to aid the healing of your spinal fusion. Spinal-Stim is a bone growth stimulator which uses a very low-strength pulsed electromagnetic field (PEMF) to activate the body’s natural healing process.

Electrical currents have been used to heal bones since the mid-1800’s. However, it wasn’t until the 1950’s that scientists made an important discovery. When human bone is bent or broken, it generates an electrical field. This low-level electrical field activates the body’s internal repair mechanism which, in turn, stimulates bone healing.

Bone growth stimulation therapy was initially used to stimulate the natural healing process in long bone fractures. The treatment proved so successful that scientists studied its effectiveness in healing spinal fusions. The results showed that, when Spinal-Stim is used following spine surgery, fusion success can be increased when compared to surgery without Spinal-Stim treatment.1

The white underneath is the brace, and the donut looking black thing is the Orthofix device.  Fancy, huh?  I am required to wear my bone growth stimulator two-hours every day for 3 months to help the fusion along.  It is all computerized and my doctor can check on my progress and can even tell if I'm cheating or not.  :)