Fight or Flight

Tomorrow is the big day.  I don't think big day can even begin to describe the enormity of tomorrow.  Nerves are definitely raging through my body today.  Its like every fiber of my being is shouting at me telling me to run away as fast as I can, but I know I'll walk into that hospital tomorrow and voluntarily put myself through major surgery to have a better life. I've been going through my day noticing every motion I make and thinking to myself, this is the last time I'll be able to bend like this to help Lyla put her shoes on, or bending over to feed the dog, or getting in and out of the car without thought.  I won't be able to twist or bend for the next 6 months as my bone grafts fuse so life will be very different for a while.  I know I'll adjust and will get used to my new normal, it's just hard to think about.  I took my before pictures today, and had the doctor email me my before x-rays for your viewing pleasure.  I think to myself, when did this happen?  When did I get so crooked?  I'm almost embarrassed to post it, but I also know that this is not permanent for me anymore.

This is my before x-ray.  My thoracic (upper) curve is about 55 degrees and my Lumbar (lower curve is about 35 degrees

This is just shocking for me to see.  the spine curving to the right has completely mis-shapen my ribs.  Let me tell you about how painful it is to sit in a hard back chair.

Can't wait to see the after

Going to dinner with the family tonight as my last hurrah and then its no food after midnight, and off to the hospital tomorrow at 6a.  Tim will be posting short updates of the next several days because I'll be too busy pressing the button on my morphine pump.  Wish me luck!!