Cloud 9

I know its been a few days, but progress is continuing so smoothly that I don't want to bore you with uneventful updates.  Today, however, I had two doctors appointments I can report on.  Early this morning I had an appointment to get my brace re-fitted because as you may recall I was having major pain every time I attempted to wear it.  Turns out, the brace was not fitting correctly and was not touching and therefore not supporting the correct parts of my back.  So I stripped down and put on a tube sock looking thing that covered my whole torso and I was casted.  They wrapped me in this sticky bandage material and within minutes it had completely hardened, it was then cut off of me right where my incision runs.  That was anything but comfortable.  Immediately after that appointment I had my first follow up appointment with Dr. Marco.  They performed an x-ray and I was called back to the room.  Dr. Marco was so thrilled with how well I was doing and my ability to get around that he actually video taped me.  I had mentioned that I have been using my feet to pick things up off the floor, well I can essentially bring my foot to my chest on both side and I can sit on the floor and stand back up without bending my back at all.  This apparently stirred a response from Dr. Marco that went something like this.... You're crazy, that's unbelievable, I've never seen someone be able to do that so soon after surgery.  He also told me my incision is looking great, and I don't need to see him until December.  Oh, and the best thing..... I don't need to wear a brace!!!!! The new x-rays showed my top curve measuring 23 degrees and my bottom curve measuring at 21 degrees.  The doctor told me that he could have gotten a 100% correction on my upper curve, but that that may have caused the bottom curve to over correct, and as a result throw me off balance.  Amazingly, my bottom curve which remained untouched spontaneously corrected itself from 35 degrees to 21 degrees.  That is truly amazing, and speaks volumes about Dr. Marco's knowledge.  I think had I not been under the care of such an amazing surgeon I would have had unnecessary vertebrae fused, and limited flexibility as a result.  Dr. Marco also told me that he read my blog.  I feel honored!  So, Dr. Marco, if you read this, just know how truly happy I am with the work you have done.  You have changed my life, and I am eternally grateful to you.  I feel so blessed to have found you.

Last thing. The hospital bed was picked up on Tuesday.  I am officially sleeping in a regular bed again, and quite comfortably at that.  Still can't sleep on my side, but hoping that I can soon.

October 6th and beyond

I made my decision very early this year to have surgery.  Did all my research and by May 12, 2011 I had my surgery date scheduled and 5 grueling months of waiting ensued.  I had a fabulous summer with family and friends and enjoyed my kids as much as humanly possible.  Life stopped for me after October 6th, not that it actually did, but all my plans for the year stopped on October 6th,  Its like life after surgery was an unknown place that wasn't really even talked about.  Not because it didn't exist, but because nobody could have told me how my recovery would have gone and therefore no plans could be made.  I spent so much time preparing for October 6th that I never thought about all the great things that would follow, Drew's birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas!!  I never in a million years would have thought that aside from my little bump in the road in the hospital I'd be doing so well.  On Thursday which was Tim's last day here in Houston, we all went to Target to go spend some of Drew's birthday money, then out to lunch at Panera. I even spent some time in the afternoon at Kohls, and Ross.  Aside from the car ride being unpleasant, I actually did quite well.  I now walk next to people and think to myself.... you have no idea what I've been through, you can't even imagine what I have in my back.  It's kind of cool!  It's even cooler, that nobody knows.  It belongs to me, and I look normal.  I'm even walking normally again, just two weeks after surgery.  Reverting back to the car ride, it isn't painful anymore to ride in the car, it is just a very strange feeling that is difficult to put into words.  It feels like having a little earthworm wriggling off of a broken stiff twig would look like.  Its like total stiffness on top, and then movement underneath, and every bump in the road creates different sensations in different parts of my back.

Life is almost so normal now, that I'm starting to feel that familiar guilty feeling I used to have when I didn't 100% involve myself in everything my kids did.  When I do take those 30 minutes to an hour to go up and "recover" from my standing and walking I feel like I should be downstairs entertaining them.  Thanks God for my Mom who now has full responsibility of them while I continue to heal.  I am surrounded by family and friends so dedicated to making this as easy for me as possible.  My parents watching my kids, enrolling them and paying for amazing preschool three times a week.  Feeding, bathing, clothing them.  I am so lucky!  My Mom's friends have been flooding me with flowers and phone calls and even hospital visits.  I received Get Well cards from family in England.  Not to mention, lots of Facebook well wishes.  Seriously, its things like this that make you realize how much love one is surrounded around.    So, thanks to all who are making this journey as easy for me as possible.

I happen to stumble upon a scoliosis forum last night on which a lady talks about her newly released singe called "This Scar."  Its a song about her journey through scoliosis.  Its a little bit corny, but I thought I'd share it with you.  Release date was October 14, just 8 days after my surgery. Click on the link below.

http://lisanicolegrace.bandcamp.com/track/this-scar

The hours go by slowly, the days even slower, but it seems like just yesterday I went into surgery.  This make no sense.  My life is so monotonous right now and pretty much just revolves around standing/walking time and laying down time.  I feel so unproductive.  There is so much I can't be a part of just yet, and I feel like that hospital bed staring back at me to my right is my prison chamber.  One I have to succumb to or the pain and exhaustion set in.  I wish I knew when the pain will end.  If someone were to tell me, its going to hurt like this for the next 23 days and then you'll be much much better,then I can prepare for that.  I can plan my days according to this pain, and know that there will be an end.  On day 24 I'll be at the park playing with my kids, skipping steps going up the stairs, and sleeping on my side again.  Truth is I don't know, and that's what sucks.  I don't have a crystal ball that will tell me when it will all be better.  I spend 75% of my time so proud of how far I've come in the last two weeks, and so hopeful about my recovery.  Then there's the other 25% that sneaks up every now and then and makes time slow down, and brings on that sense of loneliness as the world and people in it that you love continue at the same speed you were at just so little ago.  I was never one to stop and smell the roses before.  I lived a very fast paced, active lifestyle and never used my back as an excuse for anything.  Maybe this will teach me some life lessons I wasn't yet ready to learn.  About being in the moment, enjoying the little things I so casually overlooked, and staring at a blank calendar without feeling the need to fill it.  After all this is just a tiny fragment of my life.  I'll get back to me.

(Jumping back onto my 75%)

I am supposed to wear a back brace for the next 6-8 weeks to help with stabilization, but I am having all sorts of problems with it.  It causes me so much pain from wearing it, and I go from being able to be up and around for a couple of hours at a time to maybe 30 minutes max.  I finally emailed my doctor about it, and he told me to just take it off, it isn't that important to go have it re-fitted.  So happy about this.  That thing is like a torture device for the newly operated on.  It seems a little big everywhere, and quite heavy on my very sore back.  I also have this innovative device called an Orthofix Bone Growth Stimulator.  Here is a little excerpt from their website:

The Spinal-Stim spinal fusion system is a safe, nonsurgical treatment your doctor has prescribed to aid the healing of your spinal fusion. Spinal-Stim is a bone growth stimulator which uses a very low-strength pulsed electromagnetic field (PEMF) to activate the body’s natural healing process.

Electrical currents have been used to heal bones since the mid-1800’s. However, it wasn’t until the 1950’s that scientists made an important discovery. When human bone is bent or broken, it generates an electrical field. This low-level electrical field activates the body’s internal repair mechanism which, in turn, stimulates bone healing.

Bone growth stimulation therapy was initially used to stimulate the natural healing process in long bone fractures. The treatment proved so successful that scientists studied its effectiveness in healing spinal fusions. The results showed that, when Spinal-Stim is used following spine surgery, fusion success can be increased when compared to surgery without Spinal-Stim treatment.1

The white underneath is the brace, and the donut looking black thing is the Orthofix device.  Fancy, huh?  I am required to wear my bone growth stimulator two-hours every day for 3 months to help the fusion along.  It is all computerized and my doctor can check on my progress and can even tell if I'm cheating or not.  :)  

Little Bit of Everything

I believe in setting goals.  I think its motivating to have something to work for.  Sometime goals can be small, like just today my goal was to poop, and it only 11am and I've already accomplished this.  Goals are motivating, and I think and important part of any day, week, month, you get the point.  November 5, 2011 Katy, Texas will be hosting a Viva Las Vegas 5k Fun Run/Walk and my goal is to walk my first post-op 5k on that day.  That gives me 3 weeks from yesterday to make this happen, and I think its feasible.  I will not do anything to hurt the progress of my surgery, but it is known that the more you walk in recovery during this surgery, the faster you heal.  I have absolutely no walking restrictions except for when my body tells me enough.  As of Thursday I will be two weeks post-op.  That day I will officially put on my walking shoes and hit the streets to prepare for my event.  Until then, I'll be safely taking my indoor lap I've gotten comfortable with in the house.  Wish me luck, and I hope I can do it!

Yesterday was the first day I was left alone for a few hours since my surgery.  I confidently said good bye to my husband, mother, and kids as they went off to the mall.  Other than doing a load of laundry, I did my best to take it as easy as possible.  Now, let me preface this story by telling you about my hospital bed.  It is electric and with a hit of my remote I can elevate feet, back, middle and anything in between.  I was laying on my bed watching TV and playing on my Ipad when I decided I was done with playing with "My Clinic" App on Ipad and folded up my device and tossed it on the bed to my left just below my waist.  This also happens to be the exact location of where the remote for my bed was located.  The impact of the Ipad on the remote not only triggered the operation of the simultaneous lift of the body and leg function, but it also managed to push it about another few inches away from my reach.  As the familiar cranking sound of the bed engaged I realized what was happening.  As my back and legs began then endless merge I desperately tried to reach the remote, but to no avail.  I quickly maneuvered my "Log Roll" technique and got myself out of bed.  The only reaction I could muster up was uncontrollable laughter which right now sounds somewhere like a laugh, choke, and gasp for air because it hurts so bad to laugh.  I looked like something out of a movie, and I couldn't believe what I had actually done.

Moving on, today is day 10 post op and am happy to report that I am weaning off of the pain pills already.  Just to give some perspective.  While I was at my worst in the hospital I was taking 3 (5mg) Oxycontin pills every 4 hours to manage my level of pain a long with a strong muscle relaxer (xanaflex) every 8 hours.  Since yesterday, I am only taking ONE oxycontin every 6 hours and a muscle relaxer every 12 hours.  Pretty much awesomeness.  Nice to have my head out of the clouds, and being able to manage my pain on just Tylenol with a little bit of a boost when needed is so much better on your body than narcotics, yuck!  I do still have pain, but pain is relative, and thinking about where I was one week ago Tylenol seems appropriate.  I'm hoping to be completely off the narcotics soon.  Muscle relaxers might take a while longer because they really do help with the tightness that builds up and the random muscle spasms that can really hurt.

Last night, I got to keep the kids up a little bit past bedtime and we all snuggled on my bed together and looked at pictures on my camera and enjoyed closeness.  One of the tougher things about recovering from this is the distance I've had to keep from them.  I can't give them squeezes and they can't give me either.  Man, do I miss my Lyla and Drew hugs.  They are the best!  All the more reason to enjoy them when I can again.  I since declared a new bedtime routine:  Bath with Bela, then storytime, prayers and snuggles in Mommy's hospital bed.  Can't wait! I am so impressed with how well they are handling having "Mommy's back hurt."  Drew gives me the most gentle high fives ever and Lyla strokes me and tells me sorry on an hourly basis.

Finally, I made a list of all I am able to do already.  I so much farther along than I thought I'd be:

1) I can bathe, dry, and dress myself

2) I can go down to my knees and back up again without moving my back at all

3) I can pee without thought again.  The first few times I was sitting on the toilet for 15 minutes trying to remember how to do it. 

4) I can dry, and flat iron my hair

5) I can do a load of laundry

6) I can make lunch for my kids (sandwiches and diced peaches)

7) I can be out of bed for 2 hours at a time, no problem

8) I can pick small item off the ground with my toes and bring them up to my hands ( grapes, hair ties, clothes) 

That's all I can think of right now, but I'm pretty happy with my progress.

Here is the after back.  I can't bend per my doctors orders, but I'm quite pleased.  I do still have swelling as it has only been 10 days, but I think its pretty amazing.  Here is the before again, in case you forgot. 

Before of my and Tim:

And After:

Yay!!  I think about an inch to an inch and a half.  

Hot Momma!

I just had to post this because for the first time since this painful ordeal I'm seeing how worth it was.  Now I  didn't make the decision to have this surgery because I looked funny because I had ample time to make that decision.  I had it because I was beginning to have much more pain associated with my curve and the younger you have this corrective procedure the better the outcome overall.  Now that being said, there are some MAJOR perks to having your spine straightened out.  I look amazing!!  I haven't said that about myself since I was 16, I think.  I just took my clothes off and looked at myself in a full length mirror for the first time and the change in my body is miraculous.  My back is completely straight, my rib hump is essentially gone. Nobody, not even me can see it.  I have a beautiful, even waistline.  Oh, and when you grown about 1.5 inches over night in the back it does wonders for your front.  Instant tummy tuck and breast lift, seriously!  So, happy me!!  On that happy note, I've had a pretty active morning and my body is telling me its nap time.

Post Op X-rays

You can see the correction of the top curvature here.  Dr. Marco found my back to be very flexible when he was correcting it, but had to leave some curve of the spine there so that the bottom curve wouldn't over compensate.  The bottom curve will continue to straighten out just a little bit.  From a standing back view, I now look totally straight.  

Bionic Woman!!  Look at the size of those screws.  Pretty amazing!!  On the lower left portion of that x-ray where it looks like a blank spot is very high on my bowels and where my ileus was.  Everything I ate would get stopped there and back up and create the worst gas ever.  Not fun farty gas, but painful, stagnant bloating gas that felt like you were going to die.

Ode to Tim

Just a quick note to publicly thank Tim for being so amazing this last week and always.  He was perfect in every way.  Kept me strong when I was crumbling stroked my head when I would shake with uncontrollable pain.  Wiped me, bathed me, dressed me, and still told me I was beautiful.  Prayed for me like real men do.  Even had a hospital bed waiting for me at home so I don't have to worry about getting and out of bed or being uncomfortable.  I cry as I write this because I feel so lucky to have him.  What did I do to deserve him?  I don't know know, but I'm hanging on.  Thanks Timmy for being so good to me, not just when its good.  Love you and thank you for posting on my blog when I didn't even know my name. :)